The Awakening Center Newsletter

Overwhelmed!
Amy Grabowski, MA, LCPC

As I write this article, I am surrounded by boxes, items to be packed, lists of things to do and phone calls to be made for the closing of the sale of our house in two weeks. I also have laundry to be washed, groceries to be bought, and dishes waiting in the sink. Not to mention the many projects that I am working on at The Awakening Center. To say the least, I am feeling OVERWHELMED!!!

In the support group, many times the women complain that they are feeling overwhelmed. And I wonder, what contributes to this feeling, and what can we do to take care of ourselves when this feeling strikes.

I think back to several months ago when my husband and I first talked with a Realtor about what we needed to do to put our house on the market. “Joe” excitedly talked on and on about home repairs, listings, showings, inspections, surveys, insurance, contracts, mortgage preapprovals, closings, etc., etc., etc. I started thinking, “I’ll never get all this done all by myself. I can’t do it.” My heart started beating quickly, my breathing was shallow and rapid, and I just wanted to get up and leave. “Joe” looked at me and stopped, and then calmly said the exact words I needed to hear at that time: “Just do one thing a day towards your goal.” Without knowing it, he gave me a gift that I have used many times in the past months.

“Just do one thing a day towards your goal.” Why were those words so magical? First it was very reassuring that someone realized that I was feeling overwhelmed. I wasn’t shamed for these feelings, nor was I made to think I was somehow abnormal. It’s normal and human to feel overwhelmed at times in our lives. (Sometimes Life really knows how to dish it out!) Secondly, his words also said to me, “You are capable and competent and you can do this.” But I didn’t have to do it alone. I wasn’t selling this house by myself, my husband was part of this deal too. It was OK for me to ask for help, not because I was weak or incompetent or not good enough, but because I was human. Humans don’t know everything, and there are many other people who know a lot about these subjects who could be called on for their expertise. Thirdly, it reminded me of some basic time management skills I already had but in the moment had forgotten, another normal human thing to do. Skills such as setting goals, breaking goals down into small but manageable steps, and putting the steps in order by priority can be invaluable when feeling overwhelmed. (If you are unfamiliar with time management skills you may want to read: “How To Get Control of Your Time and Your Life” by Alan LaKein, the guru of time management.)

Fourth, it also said to me I didn’t have to do everything at once. All I had to do is one thing a day. One thing. I could do that. So for these past months whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would repeat “Joe’s” words to myself like a mantra: “Just do one thing a day towards your goal.”

Its easier to do one thing towards your goal when there are definite steps, like selling a house. Many times though, our goal is vague and the steps are undefined. So we first need to define our goal. What is your goal? Is it to find a fulfilling career? Is it to feel confident and competent? Is it to eat in tune with your body signals for hunger and fullness? Is it to have healthy relationships?

Then, write down a series of steps towards that goal. Writing them down and putting the steps in a prominent place reminds us of what we can do to achieve our goal. It really doesn’t matter what the steps are, anything is better than nothing. (We are so quick to discount ourselves by saying something isn’t good enough. Remember, “Progress, Not Perfection”.)

Some steps you will be able to do by yourself, but for other steps you will need help. Are there friends or family members who are safe and supportive to help you with some of the steps? You could also seek out a support group or class. What professionals have expertise in these kinds of goals? Setting priority for the steps sometimes keeps us from getting bogged down and frustrated because we haven’t done some of the preliminary work first. For example, when I called about the mortgage preapproval, I hadn’t looked up my past tax records. Therefore, I couldn’t answer their questions. I didn’t “fail” at the step, I just had to backtrack and do another step first. But if you spend a lot of time worrying about what “should” be done first, second, third, then maybe its best to pick a step, any step, and “just do it”.

Many times after I did my one thing, I would be on a roll and continue to do more things. But there were other days that I only had the emotional or physical energy to do one small thing, and I even skipped some days entirely. (I had to be kind and gentle with myself, remembering I’m only human.) But as it became easier and easier to see progress, those days were less and less often.

I also recommend having a sense of humor while working towards your goal. Go rent the video, “What About Bob?” and laugh at Bill Murray as he babysteps his way towards progress.

Make it part of your morning ritual to say to yourself, “What one thing will I do towards my goal today?” Then at the end of the day it is rewarding to reflect back on our progress. Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

AMY GRABOWSKI, MA, LCPC, has over 12 years experience working with individuals and groups to help them achieve their goals. If you have questions, she can be reached by calling (773) 929-6262 ext 1.

Changing Our Terminology
Marianne Evans-Ramsay, RD, LD

For years, I have recommended that clients avoid viewing foods as “good” and “bad”, “legal” and “illegal”, “healthy” and “unhealthy”. This kind of terminology is simplistic and full of value judgments. Yet, eliminating these from our vocabulary leaves a void when we try to categorize foods. Keeping in touch with other professionals who also practice nondieting work recently led me to some new terms: “supportive” and “nonsupportive”. The use of supportive/nonsupportive requires that one look not only at the nutritional quality of a food, but also an individual’s physical and emotional needs. One must also con-sider that a food may be supportive one day and nonsupportive the next. Rather than asking yourself if a food is good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, the question would become: “Would eating this food be supportive (or not supportive) of my health (or recovery) at this time?”

The answer to this question enhances awareness of the eating process and your changing relationship with food.

Here are some examples to illustrate how you would categorize foods with these new terms. Let’s consider broccoli and chocolate as representatives of a supposedly “good” food and a “bad” food.

Situation 1: You decided to eat steamed broccoli for dinner with nothing else. Although you selected broccoli because it is a healthful food and you selected a whole plateful, you are well aware that your dinner only had 50 calories and no fat. SUPPORTIVE OR NONSUPPORTIVE?

The broccoli does not contain enough calories to delay hunger until the next meal. It also does not provide protein and other needed nutrients. In addition, the broccoli was consumed with a dieting mindset: Nonsupportive. Situation 2: You’ve had a relaxing dinner and are comfortably full. You remember the chocolates your guest brought and eat four of them, thoroughly tasting and enjoying each one. You would like another, but decide against it because another chocolate would probably push you past feeling comfortably full. SUPPORTIVE OR NONSUPPORTIVE?

You considered your hunger level and had a clear understanding of why you were eating them, for pure enjoyment. Listening to your body you decided to stop at four chocolates, knowing you can have more later. Supportive. As you search for new ways to talk to yourself about your food choices begin trying out these terms and let me know what happens.

MARIANNE EVANS - RAMSAY, RD, LD, has a gentle wholistic approach to helping you recover from disordered eating. If you would like help discovering supportive eating for yourself, call Marianne at (773) 929-6262 ext. 3.

Is Sugar Addictive?
Elisa D’Urso-Fischer, RD, LD

“I often feel driven to eat sweets and once I’ve started I feel a craving to have more and more sugar for the rest of the day. I’ve heard that sugar is addictive, is that true?” People frequently ask me this question. Sugar is not addictive in the same way that drugs like nicotine, caffein, alcohol or cocaine are addictive. The mechanism for how sugar affects your body is very different from these truly addictive drugs.

Eating a sugar laden snack or meal will cause a rapid increase in our body’s blood sugar level. This often feels good, especially if we have not eaten in a while and our blood sugar level was low. The body responds to the rapid surge in blood sugar by releasing insulin which helps to bring the sugar level down. The problem with high sugar foods is they cause this initial burst in blood sugar but then that’s it... They sort of fizzle out, they have no lasting power.

Meanwhile your body is releasing this insulin which can wind up causing low blood sugar. Guess what low blood sugar triggers? That’s right, a drive to eat foods which will bring up the blood sugar and you know from experience, that’s more sugar. It can be a vicious cycle and feel very “addictive”. Some people are more sensitive to their body’s reactions to sugar “highs” and “lows” than others. The rush they feel from sweets may be why they feel so addictive.

Now add this, high carbohydrate intake (sugar is a high carbohydrate food) increases the body’s ability to make serotonin. Serotonin helps us to “feel good”; some anti-depressants work by helping the body maintain higher serotonin levels. For some people, sweets may help increase serotonin levels acting like a “natural anti-depressant”. So what does all this mean in regards to sugar and sweets? My recommendations include:

1) Work to make sweets “legal”. Making any foods “forbidden” or “bad” can make them “glitter” and add to their attraction and mystique, and then you feel shame or guilt when you do eat them.

2) Try to avoid “low blood sugar” by eating smaller meals more often, every 3 to 4 hours.

3) Include protein foods: lean meats, cheese, fish, nuts and beans. These foods are converted to blood sugar several hours after eaten on an “as needed” basis and help prevent low blood sugar.

ELISA D’URSO-FISCHER, RD, LD can help you if you are having trouble with “sugar binges”. To set up an appointment call Elisa at (773) 929-6262 ext. 3 If you have food or nutrition questions, please send them to Elisa or Marianne. They will answer them in an upcoming issue of our newsletter.