How
do I join the support group? Do I have to pre-register?
Since the groups are ongoing, you may join any week by just
showing up. If you are more comfortable speaking with the group
leader before attending that is fine too. But, you do not have
to "pre-register" or "sign up" before attending.
The current members of the group are usually very warm and welcoming
to new members.
Who attends
the support group? How many attend?
Generally, most of the members of the support group are in their 20's and 30's, although we sometimes get those who are younger or older than that. Typically, about 6-14 people attend; the group grows larger in February and October and smaller in the summer and around the holiday season.
What
eating disorder do most of the members have?
Usually more than half the members are recovering from bulimia.
The rest of the members are divided between those recovering
from overeating or anorexia. Even though the members' body sizes
or behaviors may be different from your own, we have found consistently
that the underlying issues are the same for all.
A. I
don't feel like I am "recovering" at all. Is the group
for me?
B. I no longer engage in the eating disorder behaviors. Is the
group for me?
The group is open to members in any stage of recovery. Some
members are in the very beginning stage of recovery, where they
are just questioning whether or not they have an eating disorder
and if they want to recover at all. Many have accepted that
they do have an eating disorder, but they still struggle with
the behaviors and symptoms. Several are farther along in that
they have an understanding of their symptoms and issues and
have more of a handle on their symptoms. Some are fully recovered
and keep attending for support to reinforce their recovery and
continue to work on their issues.
How is
a meeting structured?
In the beginning of the group I read from a book of affirmations.
Then I say a short introduction with the "guidelines"
for the group. After that, members introduce themselves and
"check in": give agenda items, what issues they want
to talk about. After introductions and agendas, I open the meeting
up to a discussion. After the discussion we have a brief "check
out" and a can is passed around for donations for ANAD.
We end the group with another reading from the book of affirmations.
What
do you talk about in the meetings?
While food, eating, and weight are discussed in the meetings,
ordinarily I try to get the group to talk more about the underlying
issues. For example, if someone says they binged because they
were lonely, we will talk about loneliness. Some common themes
are: loneliness, emptiness, anger, anxiety, powerlessness, control,
trust, relationships with friends and family, coping skills,
stress, and fear.
Is there
a fee? How much does the group cost?
The group is free. We do pass around a can to ask for donations
for ANAD, the non-profit group that sponsors the meetings. Our
suggested donation is $3.00/week, but you may give more or less
according to your own income and expenses.
Do I
have to be in individual or group therapy to be in the support
group?
No, any woman who has any problem with eating, food, weight,
exercise, etc. can attend the support group. You do not have
to be in therapy to attend the support group.
If I
attend the support group, do I still need to go to individual
or group therapy? Isn't being in the support group enough?
While a support group can be therapeutic, it is not a therapy
group, nor is it meant to be a substitute for individual or
group therapy. It is meant to provide support to you while you
work on your personal issues in individual or group therapy.
We believe that while it is possible to recover without individual
or group therapy, it would be very difficult to do so.
What
is the difference between the support group and a therapy group?
There are several differences. In a support group, whoever shows
up at any particular meeting, whether it is 3 people or 13 people,
that is the membership of the support group for that meeting.
New members are allowed to join any week and members can stop
attending whenever they want. While a core group, members who
attend on a regular basis, does form in the support group, there
is no guarantee of continuity of members. In a therapy group
the number of members is fixed, usually at 6, and the members
are committed to attend every week. There is a prescreening
process to see if someone is appropriate for the group and if
the group is appropriate for them. New members are only allowed
to join when a member leaves the group, and the group will process
their feelings about allowing new members in, as well as feelings
about current members leaving. Because the same members attend
on a weekly basis, a therapy group can build a level of trust
and intimacy that is not found in a support group. This trust
and intimacy is necessary to take the risks necessary to produce
growth within the group setting.
My role
and how the groups are led is different also. In a support group,
I act as a leader and moderator, not the therapist. Discussions
are on general topics and I tend to "teach" about
eating disorders and their underlying issues. Generally, the
members' personal issues are not explored at length. Members
are not required to speak; they may just sit and listen for
the entire meeting. In a therapy group, I act as a therapist.
While some topics are discussed generally, most of the time
is spent exploring the members' personal issues and feelings.
If a member does not speak, it is treated as a therapeutic issue
and will eventually be explored.
In both kinds of groups, I feel it is important that a feeling of safety for each of the members. In the therapy group, because members are taking more risks, it must be done in a supportive and safe manner: "If I reveal my issues to you, I know you will not reject or shame me, because I know that you have the same feelings too. If I need to back up from the group's intimacy, I know that my need will be respected." For more information please read my Newsletter article "Therapy Group or Support Group? That is the Question".
Can
family members or significant others attend the groups?
Yes. Because the Tuesday group has two leaders, it is open to family, friends and other support people. After check-ins, the two groups split up and the meetings are held in separate rooms. This way both groups feel free to talk about whatever concerns they have without worrying about their family member or friend. Occasionally, if only one leader is present or the two groups request a joint meeting, the two groups may remain in one room for the entire meeting.
